Parenting in the family of God

We are called the body of Christ, the family of God, sons and daughters of the King, and each others brothers and sisters. There is so much family language in Scripture from beginning to end that you could says it is one of the major themes of our faith. We are told that because of Christ’s completed work we have been adopted and made heirs according to the promise, sharing in His suffering and His glory, having the hope of eternal life (Romans 8:17, Galatians 3:29, Titus 3:17). Family is key!

I come from an Italian family and dominant part of the country, in upstate New York. One of the things I grew up appreciating was the incredible emphasis placed on family in the Italian sub-culture. “La familia” is the statement I would hear spoken from parent to child in my friends homes, reminding them that it was their family that would always be there for them, and that they would always need to be there for. Not all of us have great family memories and that can make this concept very challenging to accept. Remember that things are not always as they ought to be here, everything is affected by sin and the fall. But there is a place and a family that is perfect and Christ has invited you and me into it, forever!

One of the toughest roles one can ever have in a family is as parent. I always thought it was tough being a kid but ‘Wow’ being a parent is so much harder. Now I am not only trying to live this life and glorify God as I do it, but I am also trying to lead, inspire and develop others to do the same. I already felt inadequate, unprepared and incapable of completing the task set before me and guess what: I am. But, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Paul explains to us in Romans 5 that it is Christ who has done all the work necessary, we are simply to respond out of that reality, letting the Holy Spirit work through us in all things, remember that we will never do it perfectly this side of heaven.

As a parent now of three kids under the age of 5 I realize that teaching them is so much more about the lessons being caught then taught. My words are not nearly as effective as my behaviors. That being so, I am better off, as Paul says to the Ephesians and Thessalonians both, to be an “imitator of Christ” living a life of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. That display will be a much better teacher than any words I might speak. I must live with the fruits of the Spirit evident in my own life, displaying to my children the rewards of the promise that God gave, “obey…that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” He gave this instruction and corresponding promise time and time again to the Israelites, and we are reminded of it in this weeks focus verse on parenting, Ephes 6:1-4. Obey that you may enjoy; and remember it is He who is in us that will give us what we need when we need it to be obedient and thus enjoy.

Supporting the Mission

I love the definition of Submission I have heard Pastor Joel give so many times, it was the first time I heard it this way, “submission is for one person to be in support of the other persons mission.” Now the world hears the word ‘submission’ and usually thinks of it from a negative perspective, a person who is wielding power over another. But hey, that’s the world for you, totally misunderstanding yet another amazing principle given to us as it says over and over throughout Deuteronomy, ‘so that it will be well with us’. See God is the one who made us, so chances are He knows what would be best for us, and so He gave us direction and instruction, but the temptation of believing we are god is often such that we don’t trust what He has told us as best so we try to go and figure it out for ourselves. That is exactly what we have here, another direction given to us for the structure in our marriages that we have tried to rework, because we think we can do better.

 

Why does this happen? Well in general the answer is simple: we are sinful, selfish, fleshly people. As Paul says in Romans 3, none of us are righteous. But more than that I have seen and experienced that in the battle between flesh and spirit there seems to usually end up a diametrically opposed position, as if the enemy must present the opposite of God’s plan as the best option for us. It must be the most offensive. We often forget that as Paul says in Ephesians 6:12 “…our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” There is a war a waging and it is first for our souls, then if its not for our souls because we are already His, then it is for our effectiveness as soldiers in the war. And I have seen no greater war waged that in our homes and marriages. It is the place the enemy has had more victory than anywhere else I believe.

 

Why? Well because we all come from homes of some kind. Ruin it there and effect generations forever. So the reverse tactic should be: build it up there and effect generations forever (listen to Sara Groves ‘Generations’). OK, How do I have a great marriage? Well as over-simplified as this may sound: listen to Paul yet again in this weeks focus verse: Ephesians 5:21-26, 33 because it is there that he gives us the secret: Husbands love your wives and wives submit to your husbands. Men love them like Christ loved the church, sacrificially and with deference, making them holy and pure. Women support your man in his mission, respect him as unto the Lord. Here is where it gets tricky, as stated differently in verse 21 “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ”

 

As important as it is for the man to have a Godly, purposeful mission and for the woman to be lovable and respectful, neither of those are the reasons for our living this way. It is because of Christ, who He is and what He has already done, that is our motivation, PERIOD. It has nothing to do with the other person, it has to do with you and Christ!

 

Build strong marriages and we will change the world, one home at a time, together. Get in a small group with your spouse, pray together, have fun and laugh as much as possible but most importantly love Christ together!

Not good for man to be alone

Genesis 2:18 “The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Although this verse is referring to the immediate creation of a partner that would be suitable for Him, a woman, we see in this a picture of the importance of relationship. God himself is a relationship: Father, Son and Holy Spirit; three in one, one in three. There are many mysteries and lessons that are very important for us to learn from that reality and as hard as they may all be to comprehend, one of them is clearly that we are not to be alone! This is so much bigger than a spouse and even a family, this is a call to community!

Dr. Margi McCombs shared a few years back the power of that word community and I have never forgotten it. ‘Common-Unity’: to have something in common that binds us together in a unifying and deep way. That is at the heart of Northland Oviedo. From small groups and bible studies, to our upcoming Sunday lunches and fellowship events we are constantly trying to create space and time for you to get to know each other and Christ better. That takes lots of attempts and options with everyone’s busy schedules and life stage but the most important thing it takes is YOU! Getting involved in the Christian life with everyone in your sphere of influence is, at the end of the day your choice!

Developing a common language, culture and purpose to something bigger than ourselves, bigger than our ‘church’ and even bigger than our geography unifies us in such a powerful way that nothing else can. This is the experience of soldiers like in the ‘Band of Brothers’, of sports teams, of new mom and dads; to be involved in something that is common, sometimes hard other times joyous, but regardless common to each other, united in it. ‘Common-Unity’

We are on this adventure together, of forming, developing and inspiring community here at Northland, at Northland Oviedo and in East Orlando. That is why we had the Easter Picnic in the Park yesterday. I pray not only that you were there, that you had a blast or even that you brought people with you although I have been praying all those things, I pray mostly that you were able to find common-unity with others either during the kickball game, by the grill cooking, looking for eggs with your kids or sitting a table eating. That as you get to know one another better you will begin to see the opportunity before you to pursue a better knowledge of Christ together through classes, bible studies, small groups, the Sunday worship experience. And then another amazing thing happens, the response to those realities begins to form deep within you and you find yourself serving others together not because someone asked you, although they might, but because you couldn’t imagine not expressing your gratefulness to Him through service to others. That can look many different ways too from Sunday as a part of some ministry area, to in the community at the Hope Foundation or in your neighborhood mowing a lawn or bringing a meal, to around the globe through the many partnership opportunities. Our job is to be sure and create all those spaces and times for community and worship and service. That is what we do. The question is what is keeping you from jumping in!?

Start now, get involved, BE A PART OF IT! Start simple, bring someone with you next week to the Easter gathering, say hi to someone you don’t know today, hold the door for someone, let someone go first in the parking lot but most importantly remember this, God said it is not good for us to be alone, so PLEASE don’t be, even as a family don’t be alone, be a part of the Northland Oviedo Community!

Suffering and Blessing (by Rebecca Sheahan)

I gotta post this, for one reason Rebecca doesn’t have a blog of her own, it was in a congregation wide email for Easter and I posted it on our church website/blog (http://www.northlandchurch.net/blogs/category/oviedo/).  Secondly , and more importantly, this is a GREAT article because Rebecca is a person who, more so than most I know our age (well at least hers) is intimately aware of suffering with no explanation, no reason, and left with only Christ!  That is why I love this article and am encouraging everyone to take the time to read and think and pray…..

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Suffering and Blessing

As Easter is rapidly approaching, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Jesus’ suffering on the cross. Doing a close reading of the book of John reveals over and over how Jesus saw His upcoming death. He saw it as not only obedience to God’s will, but a blessing and a gift to those that would believe in His Name. This idea, that Jesus could view His imminent torture and suffering as a blessing, has got me thinking about how I view blessing and suffering in my own life. Or rather, how I need to change my understanding of their definitions!

I’ve got to get this idea out of my head that God’s blessing comes in the form of what Iwant. What I want is not necessarily what God has for me, and what God has for me is not always what I want, especially at first. Take for example, Mary. In Luke 1:28, the angel of the Lord tells Mary she is highly favored. And just in case we miss it the first time he repeats it again in verse 1:30, saying “you have found favor with God.” Can’t be more clear than that, right? And what does her being highly favored by God get her? Well, God blesses her by causing her to become pregnant before she is married. I doubt Mary could see all that would come from this blessing. I’m sure she was very upset at how her reputation would be ruined and worried about how Joseph would see her. If Mary had refused this unconventional blessing because of the suffering it would initially cause, imagine what she would have lost out on! She would have missed out on being the Mother of Jesus! But putting myself in her shoes, I’m not so sure I wouldn’t have done just that. I can hear myself saying, “Well, thanks for coming all this way, I appreciate the compliments, and wow, I feel pretty special, but I’m happy with the way my life is going and I’d rather not muck it up with an unplanned pregnancy. Can’t God bless me in some other way?”

When we encounter difficulties do we immediately ask God to take them away because they are painful or inconvenient? Or do we consider that this difficult thing is a blessing God has given to us to bring us closer to Him and give Him glory? In John 9, Jesus encounters a man who has been blind since birth. When Jesus is asked why this man is blind, Jesus says clearly that he is blind so that God’s work would be done in his life!

I don’t know about you, but if someone asked me if I want God’s work done in my life, I’d say yes without even thinking. I’d probably even go on about how wonderful it is, and how I strive to bring Him glory. But when God’s work in my life takes the form of suffering, trial, and hardship, I know I am slow to see it as a blessing. I catch myself wondering if God knows what’s going on in my life, asking why He would let me struggle with this, or feel that pain. My knee jerk reaction to suffering is to ask for God to get me out of this situation or heal me of my pain, instead of stopping to see how he is working for my good and His glory. Sometimes it’s easier to see why something difficult would be for my good. But, more often, I really can’t see that far down the road. And since I can’t see any good in my suffering, I immediately think God needs to get me out of this, and quickly!

How different is Christ’s attitude when it comes to suffering! Even when His heart is troubled over the impending pain and separation He faced, He recognizes that His suffering was “the very reason I came.” And further, that His death and suffering would bring glory to His Father in heaven! (John 12:27-28). Had Jesus chosen to flee His suffering, instead of walking right into it, there would be no Resurrection. We would all be hopeless. Jesus did many things in His time on earth, all for God’s glory. But His ultimate act of obedience was to endure a suffering we can not fully comprehend. Jesus knew that His suffering was actually a blessing because it would bring God glory, and bring us to Him. The actual definition for blessing is this: to bestow upon or be infused with holiness, and divine will. And Jesus’ suffering on the Cross fits that definition perfectly!

So this Sunday as I celebrate Jesus coming out of the tomb and saving me from my sin, I will also be celebrating His suffering and blessing. Because they are one and the same. And I’m asking Him to help me see blessing the way He does. Not as some magical wish fulfillment, but the glory of God being revealed in my life no matter what or how difficult the circumstances.

Rebecca Sheahan, Site Coordinator Northland at Oviedo